My online notes

Here is a screen shot of the first version for my Business Plan I don’t write in Word, but in PowerPoint. I figured Investors are getting 20 Business Plans a day. They decide in the first couple of seconds if they will spend some more time with this plan or not, in the first couple of seconds the only thing that matters is the looks.

So the plan better looks great if you want to have people actually investing time in reading it.

Carved-in effect in PowerPoint 2007 or Word 2007:

Everything you see in this screen shot is entirely made in PowerPoint, no Photoshop skills required.

To actually see what I did, just click at the picture to get it in a bigger size.

Read more

Read more

Here are the top 5 indicators:

1. There is a constant barking noise, but you fail to find the object that causes the disturbance due to its size.
2. Once you found the object, you discover it eats nothing, but cabbage, carrots and apples.
   + it will not drink anything that didn’t come out of an Evian bottle.
3. That thing can’t take a dump, if no one is there to watch it doing its business.
4. The rat with long legs ( Chihuahua) has cloths which fit your girlfriend’s handbag
5. You feel a nearly irresistible urge to kick that barking rat whenever you see it.

If there would be a god,
he would not have allowed anything like this:

              
            

Update:

Here is a recipe for a very entertaining evening:

Take 1 Chihuahua which has been on a strict fruits and vegetables diet for the past 5 years.

Hand it a chicken-bone.

Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.

What will happen is simple:

The “dog” will chew on the bone and discover something animal like which was not jet cleansed by all the Evian water.

Everyone in the room will worry that the “dog” might die because of chewing on a bone and try to get that thing out of its mouth.

The rat with long legs will  fight for its life for the first time of its existence in order to keep the bone.

In an act of desperation it will attempt to swallow the bone (bigger than its own head) as a whole.

The end result will be a very, very pissed Chihuahua because it was deprived from its first experienced of being alive. Extremely shocked pet owners and the devious person who handed the bone. That person might need some time to recover from rolling on the floor laughing because the whole spectacle was just too dame awesome.

Read more

I was diversifying my attention (avoiding writing on my business plan) at peopleofwalmart.com when I remembered the awesome  news about a British woman getting kicked out of New Zealand for being too fat.

The story goes something like: A British specialist for submarine cables working in New Zealand applied for a Visa for his wife so they can stay together in New Zealand. At first the authorities were like: sure thing, you are a specialist, we like those people, and yes you can bring your wife. But in the moment they laid eyes on his gracious, sweet, sweet darling they were all like: “Holy F@#$! Hey, forget what we said. She is to fat! No way you can stay in this country, you have to find some other place to live!” True story.

The New Zealand government decided that due to health cost reasons new immigrants must pass a certain weight standard.

See I am all for that! Government regulation is the only way to tackle this tremendous problem I am facing whenever I am not in Japan.

Also I don’t see any reason why this should not be extended to other areas in life. Like:

1. Accommodate the price of food to the weight of the person
2. Regulate the price of clothing according to the hotness of the woman (the hotter she is, the more each square inch of clothing should be) + (make a Burqa mandatory once a certain standard of ugliness is met)

I actually worked on a formula* to determine the clothing price:

1 + (%of Facesymetry - BMI - estimated Age +
‰ expected men's alcohol level - 50)/100
* retail price

Obviously there is quit some improvement necessary, but you get the idea.

*this formula applies only to women above 21 years.